Ghost Ship - 2002
Ghost Ship is the second and last film from director Steve Beck, I guess he wanted to go out on a high note. Wait it’s also the second and last film from screenwriter Mark Hanlon… that’s a weird coincidence, it’s almost as if people didn’t want to give them work after this movie. Plot pasted from IMDB:
“A salvage crew that discovers a long-lost 1962 passenger ship floating lifeless in a remote region of the Bering Sea soon notices, as they prepare to tow it back to land, that strange things happen.”
Movie opens with a sexy Italian Roger Rabbit cosplaying singer as a slow-motion party goes on top of a boat… or should I say a ship. Get it. Suddenly a cable comes in, clearly wasn’t invited to the party and rudely interrupts the dancing. By interrupt I mean it cuts in… cuts in hahaha. The cable cuts everyone in half. There is a guy that his pants fall first so we see his boxers before the blood stars to fall. Another guy has his arm reaching to the sky despite it being severed from the body. I guess the ship had all the cutting-edge technology available at the time. Cutting-edge. Cutting. Edge.
We are introduced to the baldest salvage screw in the movie. In all fairness, it a great cast having names like Alex Dimitriades… Desmond Harrington… um… Ron Eldard... Emily Browning? No wait Gabriel Byrne, Julianna Margulies, Isaiah Washington and Karl Urban are also in it and the acting isn’t horrible. How do we know they are the baldest crew, one of them has a neck tattoo a listens to early 2000’s Rock while driving the boat… I mean ship. They are hired to find a missing ship and well as the title implies, thing are about to get interesting. Ghosts.
So, among the crew there is a man that is straight-out pulled from “My Strange Addiction”. The mechanic is shown having a one-way conversation while working on the engine. The conversation is very loving and clearly, he has a deep complicated history with whoever he is having that conversation with. Camera pans to the right and he is talking with a photo… of a car and the photo is of the trunk of the car, because that’s all he cares about. Oh, and the engine burst some oil on him and him says “At least it’s still sweet”, that’s all kinds of disturbing.
The Good Wife finds a pool and its riddled with bullet holes. After she sees ghost girl she falls maybe three feet to the floor but that leaves her unconscious. I mean I have falling from higher places and I’m on the heavy side and have walked away easily from it. After she is saved the pool fills up with CGI bright red blood to reveal ghost bodies. But the crew never sees it, so who are they trying to mess with? This happens multiple times, ghost just trolling the crew but they don’t see them.
This is a horror movie and in the crew, there is one black guy. So, who do you think dies first? If you said the black guy, then you are wrong it was the guy that has sex with cars. I mean he is Latino so one minority for another one, but it’s still progress. Right? Their shit blew up and now they are stuck in the Ghost Ship and now the ghosts mean business. But don’t worry the black guy doesn’t last too long since sexy Italian Roger Rabbit cosplaying singer ghost is back and she is seducing him all the way to his death. She stands naked in front on an elevator shaft and when he tries to grab her, he falls to his death. I mean do I need to make a joke here?
The Good Wife is now taken through a journey of flashbacks, in where you get to see what really happened to the original crew of the ship. Flashback music is set to this weird techno music that don’t fit at all with the gruesome scenes we are watching. Turns out that the ship-crew killed everyone in sight. Poisoning the food and drinks, setting off the cutting-cable, using straight razors to kill people… even though they had guns and lining up people over at the pool and killing them. Call back to when The Good Wife found the holes, but the real mystery is if they were standing in the edge of the pool… how did the bottom of the pool get covered in bullets? It can’t possibly be continuity errors.
Turns out the ships is a front for a soul collecting demon I think. So, The Good Wife blows it up and somehow all the souls are freed. They weren’t tied to the demon, but to the ship. They start to swim away from the ship finally escaping the hell they have endured. Wait if they are ghost why do they have to swim? Shouldn’t they be able to float at least. But don’t worry if you feel unsatisfied with this movie, because just as she is being taken away in an ambulance 2000’s rock music starts to play, who do we see? The demon, OH NO a sequel in on its way… Nope. The End.
Ghost Ship is a pretty straight forward demon collecting souls on a ship that is stopped by a salvage crew movie, but yeah. Seeing a writer being bold to include all types of relationships, even car and human relationships is why I love movies.
Ghost Ship is currently streaming on Amazon Prime. Take your car out for a date, see where it goes.
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